Pre-release, I was expecting this to be a deep deep dark hole I’d be playing for the better part of the year. Huge progress has been made in modding GTA3/VC/SA over the past 20 years that makes it look pretty great. Throw on some slightly modernized controls and you’ve got a good thing lined up.

So, of course, they managed to choke in the most catastrophic way possible.

I dicked around in the Game Pass version of San Andreas, and it was visually completely unplayable. Horifficially blown-out lighting, awful environmental effects, floaty controls, just . . . awful. Unplayable. No. Shoot it into the sun.

Easily the worst game I’ve played all year, easily the worst remake I’ve ever played of any game.